THE PRIOR GENERAL'S TALK TO PRIORS
ONGOING FORMATION COURSE

 

Rome, 31st January 2003

1. According to the latest Status Ordinis (2001), we have approximately 2000 friars in 320 communities distributed throughout 19 Provinces, 2 General Commissariats, and 3 General Delegations. The friars are in 40 countries. The way of life differs from country to country and reflects somewhat the culture of the country or from where the men come. We may not be of the world but we are certainly in the world.

The Carmelite Vocation

2. As you know, our most recent official documents, especially the Constitutions and the Ratio, have stated our charism in very clear terms. We seek to live in allegiance to Jesus Christ through a commitment to seek the face of the living God (the contemplative dimension of life), through fraternity and through service (diakonia) in the midst of the people.(Const. 14). Article 15 of the Constitutions stresses that these three elements of the charism are closely interwoven and the crucial factor in unifying these values is the desert experience. The Ratio clarifies that the experience of the desert is in fact contemplation and that the elements of prayer, fraternity and service take their strength from the centre, which is contemplation, and also move us towards the experience of God, who leads us on a journey of transformation, on which we are purified of all that is not God so that we will be enabled to see with the eyes of God and love with God’s heart. The Prophet Elijah inspires us on our journey and Our Lady, our Patroness, Sister and Mother, accompanies us always.

3. I believe that all members of the Carmelite Family have fundamentally the same vocation, to respond to the invitation to intimate union with God. Of course the different branches of the Family have very different ways of living out this vocation. Also within the same branch, there is and can be no absolute uniformity. Fraternity is an essential element of our charism and an important aspect of how we friars respond to this call is by living in community. The value of fraternity is not totally exhausted by living in community of course but it is the normal way in which we friars live. There are a number of Carmelites living on their own for a variety of reasons but this is not the norm.

4. The Constitutions remind us that, based on the Rule, we are fundamentally "fratres". I do not want to define what fraternity or community life means for Carmelites. I believe that the Order has to express a variety of styles of community life. This variety expresses the richness of the Order. Within the Order we have different people with different needs and different expectations, and therefore it is good that there are various possibilities to respond to these differences in human nature.

5. Community is a wonderful sign that the love of God can perform miracles in the hearts of human beings. It proclaims the truth of the Gospel and is an integral part of our mission. We are all aware of the beautiful theory of community and the pleasure it can be to live in a good community but we are no doubt equally aware of the drawbacks of community. At times it is not easy to live in community because it is made up of imperfect human beings who hopefully are all on the spiritual journey and who can support one another to arrive at the goal for which we were all created. Nevertheless they are imperfect human beings who are all seeking happiness in ways that will never fully satisfy them. These ways clash from time to time because until the transformation process has reached a certain point of maturity, we are all seeking infinite esteem and affection, security and control, which of course we cannot all have, and therefore we experience personality clashes.

6. When we make profession, we commit ourselves to a group of real people who are fundamentally good but who are imperfect. We commit ourselves to throw in our lot with these people. We are asked to love our neighbour who is a real flesh and blood human being with feelings, who does not always react the way we expect. It is easy to love another human being in theory but more difficult to do so in practice. Perhaps we should thank God that we get on as well in community as we do. Human relationships are not at all easy and when we look at a newspaper, we can see the devastation that some human beings can bring about in the lives of others. We can also thank God that the companions on our journey are mostly people who are trying their best to live the Gospel as they see it, even though we may find that difficult to believe at times.

Reality v Ideal

7. It is clear however that the reality of community life is still very far from the ideal. We have some communities that pray together, eat together and recreate together and other communities where the members never pray together and they rarely meet one another, except perhaps in passing in the corridor. We have some large communities but many small communities of two.

8. My impression, after having visited the Order, is that at best there is reasonable satisfaction with community life and at worst, fellow community members can be completely un-Christian towards each other. It is rare to find a community where the members feel themselves to be companions on the spiritual journey and who are able to share deeply. I believe that there are many reasons for this reality, if it is true. One reason is the growth of individualism, which affects the whole world, and not just the Order. However, another reason is perhaps that we fail to understand the function of the community in the spiritual life. It is easy to love one’s neighbour in theory, if we do not have to deal with a concrete person, but when this neighbour enters our world, things change. A neighbour or a brother made of flesh and blood, disturbs our well ordered house. A praying community will help each of us to understand ourselves better. We will see more clearly our faults. It is a great temptation to put the blame onto others for the problems in community. We often project our problems onto others. It is a temptation to try to avoid the difficult questions that arise in community life, and we can avoid these if we step back and remain in a place from where we can judge the other members of the community.

9. At times it is very tempting to try to escape the demands placed on us by living in community. We can be very good at serving those outside community from a position of superiority, but with those who live in the same house, who share our table, the recreation room and perhaps also the apostolate, there can be friction. This friction is the way God smoothes the rough edges of our personality and deepens the process of purification and transformation. God is making a masterpiece of our lives and the tools God often uses are our brothers.

10. We believe that a vocation comes from God but we must admit that mixed in with a divine call is the human element. So we find all sorts of people in religious communities. Perhaps some should never have become religious as they seem to be unsuited to community life; others have been embittered by the harsh experiences of everyday life and are never really happy no matter how many good things happen to them; others are suffering under various kinds of illnesses or addictions; others are trying their best to respond to what they believe God is asking of them. Like everyone else they are limited, make mistakes, commit sin and so on. They are usually the ones who rarely cause problems and just get on with their work wherever they are asked to do it.

11. A group of religious is a microcosm of the Church and the world. A vital part of the human response to a vocation is an acceptance of these concrete people with all their faults and failings. When we make our profession in the Order we take on community as an integral part of our vocation. This means that we have thrown in our lot with this group for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part.

The Role of the Prior

12. The role of the Prior in our Rule and tradition is one of service. He leads the community first of all by his own example and his task is to make sure that the community is organised in such a way that the brothers can live a life of allegiance to Jesus Christ and serve him with a stout heart and a good conscience. Several times in the Rule it states that the Prior is to make certain decisions with the consent of the other brothers or at least of the more mature and saner part! The Prior is not a despot or a parent who is to decide everything for his children. He is a leader but each member of the community is responsible for the health of the whole community and for his own life. The Prior is the one who is to remind all the brothers of our common vocation and constantly to recall all of us to that. However each one is ultimately responsible before God for how he actually lives the vocation which God has given him.

13. An essential part of the Carmelite charism as it is understood in our Constitutions is a commitment to community. One aspect of the role of leadership is to strive to move the reality as close as possible to the ideal while being guided above all by the requirements of charity. Ideals will always be ahead of us; we cannot arrive at perfection until Christ comes again to bring all things to fulfilment.

Growing Together

14. The Constitutions point out those elements of our life that are designed to help us grow as individuals and as brothers (31). The first is "in the shared participation in the Eucharist, through which we become one body, and which is the source and the summit of our lives, and therefore the sacrament of brotherhood." Do we have a shared Eucharist in our communities? This is written into our Rule and was a very unusual precept for hermits. I am not proposing a shared Eucharist because it is part of our law but because it is the greatest help we have to build up our communities. I am well aware that there can be all sorts of reasons why community Eucharist is not convenient, but where there is a will, there is a way. Sometimes the demands of the apostolate can be used as an excuse to escape other demands. In this case we need to look at our lives with great honesty. What am I seeking? What do I want to do with my life and what does God want of me? How does my lifestyle fit in with my vocation to be a Carmelite?

15. The celebration of the Eucharist and communal listening to the Word of God are great helps to build up community. The Eucharist is the celebration of the community but also forms community and so it deserves serious preparation. It transforms individuals into community and then sends us out to live the Gospel in daily life. Unfortunately the Eucharist can also be divisive within a community if too much attention is put on externals and too little paid to the heart of the matter.

16. The second element mentioned in the Constitutions is similar to the first, that is the communal celebration of the Liturgy of the Hours. Perhaps some of us are still suffering from the experience of the past where in some cases the community said lots of prayers together but the individual members could not stand one another. Prayer can be used to boost our own ego instead of being an opening to the purifying and healing action of God but that danger is not a reason to give up prayer either as individuals or as communities. St. Teresa of Avila said that, with regard to prayer, we need to have a very determined determination to keep going and never give up. If we want to praise God together as brothers, the Church has given us a precious opportunity to do so by means of the Liturgy of the Hours whereby we join with the whole Church to offer to God the sacrifice of praise. It is of course possible to enliven our liturgical celebrations so that they do not became routine.

17. The movement in the Rule from the individual cells to the chapel each day is a symbol of the effort needed constantly to go out of oneself in order to meet others and with them make community (Ratio, 35). Fraternity is a prophetic sign that it is possible to live in communion even though one has to pay the price (Ratio, 36).

18. The next element mentioned in the Constitutions for the building up of our community life is the prayerful listening to the Word. This of course is part of the celebration of the Eucharist and of the Liturgy of the Hours but is also recommended by means of Lectio Divina where together we read and reflect on the Word of God and share our response to this Word in our own words and in silence where we allow the Word to shape our hearts and to bind us together in unity. We cannot have prayerful communities if we are not prayerful individuals. Each one of us is responsible for the health of the community. Being prayerful does not necessarily mean saying many prayers but allowing our prayer to change us and how we relate to others.

19. The rediscovery of this ancient method of prayer has been very important for the whole Church and so also for the Order. One step of Lectio Divina is to share one’s ideas on a text of Scripture with others but that is most certainly not the goal. The goal of Lectio is contemplation, which is a mature relationship with God in Jesus Christ in which our limited human ways of thinking, loving and acting are transformed into divine ways. (Const. 17 ) Discussion of a text of Scripture and trying to apply it to the life of a community can be very helpful but much more powerful is sharing the experience of silence together in which all desire the presence and action of God within the community. Lectio Divina is very useful in communities but it is important not to stop the process less than half way.

The Community Meeting

20. The Constitutions recognise that we need to discuss common concerns and so the community meeting is an important element in community life. If we do not discuss things that concern us, they will become problems, which can destroy the harmony of any community. The community meeting needs to look at business but also at the spiritual aspects of community life. There are certain basic skills needed to organise and run a successful community meeting. If you know that you do not have these skills, or suspect this to be the case, try asking one of the other brothers to chair meetings or perhaps the chairing could be shared.

21. Another problem is that, despite the Constitutions, in a lot of communities, the community meeting simply does not take place. These are supposed to deal not only with the practical issues of the community but also with spiritual issues. I have heard many complaints that one cannot speak about spiritual things in the presence of Father X or that some member of community talks incessantly and does not leave space for the others and so on. There is a crisis of leadership. It is easier for a prior never to have meetings or not to try to help the other brothers to grow, but to be the director of a hotel for individuals is not the role of the prior.

22. There is great wisdom in the Rule and Constitutions, a wisdom that has been distilled over centuries. The community meeting is mentioned in the Rule and is fleshed out in the Constitutions. When a new community forms, and this happens every time a new member joins or one leaves, it would be very helpful for the community to share their expectations. If, for example, one member of community expects to be able to share his deepest feelings with the community and another is paralysed with embarrassment when asked, "how are you?", there will be great dissatisfaction in that community. It the community can at least be aware of the vastly different expectations from the beginning, they will know either not to expect too much or learn to balance the expectations according to the needs of the members.

23. The community meeting is an essential tool for the growth of a group of individuals into a community. At times in community meetings tensions will arise. This is very natural and not something to be afraid of. If community meetings are held frequently, according to what is laid down in the Constitutions, this gives the opportunity to the members of the community to air their grievances which in turn lowers the level of tension in the house. If community meetings are not held regularly, there is no forum in which to bring up the normal issues that emerge in every community. In the absence of regular community meetings, information will be passed on by means of discussions in the corridors. Also it could lead to apathy within the community, which is not healthy.

24. The role of the Prior is very important as the one who calls the brothers together, and who makes dialogue possible. If the Prior does not do this, who is going to do it? If the Prior does not fulfil his function, this leads to great tension within a community. The brothers do not want someone who will make decisions for them but they do want someone who can facilitate dialogue and be a leader.

25. It is very valuable for a community to work together to get beyond the initial difficulties that usually arise in community meetings. The only way to do this is to hold regular meetings. Abiding by the normal rules for good meetings, makes sure that the frustration, which may arise, does not grow to become an insuperable barrier within the community. Normal rules for successful meetings include giving all the members of community an opportunity to know and contribute to the agenda before the meeting, having a set time for the meeting and not extending it unless in rare circumstances, running the meeting in such a way that all members of the community have a chance to have their say in a manner which respects the needs and rights of others.

26. We are also encouraged to share the common table and recreation together. If we never spend time together, we will never grow in unity. If we do spend time together, there is a risk of conflict of course but if good will exists and a willingness to dialogue, then these problems can be overcome and be in fact a bond of unity between us. Each of us must examine our own conscience. Am I truly willing to dialogue with my brothers? Am I always right and the others always wrong? Could some of their criticisms have an element of truth? If so what will I do about it?

27. Finally we are encouraged to work together and to share our joys, our anxieties and friendships. It is important to celebrate together the ordinary human things like birthdays or anniversaries etc. It is also important to be there for one another when we are in trouble. Always safeguarding the community’s right to some privacy, it is very helpful to be able to share our own personal friends with the community.

The Dysfunctional Community

28. I make no pretence to be a psychologist but the concept of dysfunctionality is now common currency and can be helpful in understanding some problems in community life. No one is perfect and we all can make problems for others but a really dysfunctional situation exists in a community when the life of the entire community revolves around one person. The classic case would be the situation of an alcoholic in the community. No one challenges the individual about his drinking and the problem is swept under the carpet. There can be other cases where a member of community has a psychological problem that is allowed to dominate the life of the community. No community meeting can be held because the others are afraid of how the sick individual will react and everything is done for peace. In this case, the whole community is sick because the problem of one individual is allowed to dominate and set the agenda for the whole community. It is above all for the superior to intervene in such a situation to make sure that such an individual can obtain the help he requires. If the brother will not accept help, at least he must not be allowed to dominate the life of the community.

29. These are of course extreme cases but each of us needs to examine ourselves regarding our own living in community. God will use the little idiosyncrasies of our brothers to purify us and use our idiosyncrasies to purify our brothers. Are we pleasant to live with? Are we selfish and egotistical or do we really try to live a fraternal life? Are we prepared to allow our brothers to challenge and purify our false self?

30. I believe that one of the greatest difficulties in community life is that the individual members are looking for different things and never share their expectations. Each brother has a model of religious life and the Church that he often never questions because these are so much part of him, and therefore there are built in expectations of how religious should live. The need for the deep purification of the dark night becomes clear when we become aware just how deeply rooted are our expectations and prejudices that we have unconsciously picked up as we were growing up and in our early years as Carmelites.

Our Goal

31. The goal of the spiritual journey is that we be transformed in God. Our Constitutions describe this as a profound change in the way we think, act and love. We move away from our normal human ways, which by their nature are limited, to a divine way. To put it more simply, our vocation is to become like God. The Fathers of the Church spoke and wrote a great deal about the divinisation of the human being. Every aspect of the human being is to be transformed. This is normally a long, slow process that perhaps is rarely completed in this life. To be on the spiritual journey is to be involved in this process of transformation. Relating to other human beings greatly helps this process of growth and transformation because we learn so much about ourselves if we have eyes to see and ears to hear.

32. In a religious community we find ourselves living and sharing with people with whom we may actually seem to have very little in common. What we should have in common of course are the fundamental values of following Christ and of the Carmelite tradition. However, the way we understand these comes to us through our own human processes, which are not yet transformed. Therefore we will have different ways of understanding and living these values and our motivation will not be completely pure. Living in community is bound to cause us some difficulties because my false self clashes with the false self of the others. It is too easy and quite wrong to blame all difficulties in living community on the other members of community or to assume that all difficulties are negative. Most difficulties in community life have a positive aspect in that they reveal something to me about myself but I have to be very honest in order to even consider that a problem in my community may be my problem.

33. There is a certain parallel between religious life and married life. We are all very aware that if a couple do not talk together, little things will grow into major problems or the couple will grow apart. The same issue is at work in a religious community. We can of course seek to avoid the problem by asking for a move but there are some religious who have lived in every community of the Province and they are happy nowhere. Many never seem to ask the question whether the problem might perhaps be coming from them!

34. Religious community is a human reality and therefore is flawed but it is the ambient in which we have been called to respond to God’s gratuitous love for us. It is the privileged place where we can grow as human beings, as Christians and as religious. Let us accept one another with all our faults, strive to love one another as Christ has loved us and value one another as brothers and co-heirs of God’s Kingdom. Of course we will fail from time to time to live up to our high ideals but that is no reason to let go of these ideals and settle for an unhappy mediocrity. Christ has promised to be with us and we can depend on that promise. If we allow him, he will love our brothers through us. If our experience of community has not been good, why not try to follow the principle of our brother, St. John of the Cross, who said, "Where there is no love, put love and you will find love." If there is love within a community, all obstacles can be overcome. Life will not be perfect but we will know that we are accepted for who we are which will give us the confidence to go out to others and share that love with them. Our community lives will bear witness to the truth of the Gospel that Christ has broken down the barriers which separated people from one another and that his love can heal.

35. If we are willing to take the risk of loving our brothers, we will fulfil the article of our Constitutions which says, "Fraternal life modelled on the Jerusalem community is an incarnation of God’s gratuitous love, internalised through an ongoing process by which we empty ourselves of all egocentricity – which can affect groups as much as individuals – as we move towards authentic centering in God. In this way we express the charismatic and prophetic nature of the consecrated Carmelite life, weaving harmoniously into it the personal charisms of each member, in the service of the Church and the world." (30).